


Don't Suffer Alone

by VeryLateTrash



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 02:17:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14510352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeryLateTrash/pseuds/VeryLateTrash
Summary: In which Gabriel has a nightmare about some of the emotional torture Asmodeus put him through. And Sam is there to help him.





	Don't Suffer Alone

Gabriel hadn't ever thought it'd be hard to get sleep. He was an angel, after all. Sleep wasn't necessary, even though he found it to be a good past time since the first time he left Heaven all those years ago. Every time he wanted to spend a few hours dozing off, he'd simply close his eyes and he'd be in his own dreamworld for as long as he wanted. It was nice, to say the least.

But since his return to Earth, after spending seven hellish years being tortured every passing day, after having his grace ripped out of him as if he were a dairy cow, after being constantly told he was nothing, sleep has evaded him.

There was nothing more that he wanted than to get some rest. Take some time to think and heal. And when the Winchesters gave him a room in their bunker, he thought that it'd give him the perfect opportunity to do just what he wanted. 

And yet, he couldn't. 

Every time he'd get into a comfortable enough position, curled up with a soft blanket and a few pillows, he'd reach that drifting feeling of sleep only to be snapped to wake again, running away from the demons that forced their way into his short-lived dreams.

Gabriel had gotten hurt before. He'd fought for Heaven on a few occasions centuries ago where he'd gotten damaged by a couple of gnarly demons. He'd suffered emotional turmoil, as well. Seeing his older brother leave Heaven, hearing Michael constantly grumble about how awful Lucifer had become, even though their father had favored him. Michael would swear up and down that that was true. That their father had always loved Lucifer the most, and to hear that was another stab to the heart for Gabriel.

Gabriel had witnessed his brother stabbing one of his clones, Lucifer being sure it was him, to death. Gabriel witnessed his own older brother meaning to kill him. It'd taken more time than he wanted to tell either Sam or Dean to get over that.

And yet none of that, absolutely none of it, came close to how much he suffered at Asmodeus' hand.

...Gabriel wanted some sleep. He'd been sitting on Sam's bed, half-listening to the other man talk strategy on how they'd get to Michael quickly and without as much risk as possible.

That hurt, too. That Sam, Dean, even Cas were still using him as a weapon. His grace was still little to none; he wasn't even sure if he'd be of much use to them. 

Gabriel shook his head as if that would clear his mind of all that he was struggling with. He sat up, which made Sam look up from his laptop. Gabriel gave him a dismissive wave of the hand, "Sorry, Samshine, I'm gonna head to bed. I'll talk to you about this later, alright? Unless you wanna join me," he added with a wink to try and pick up the mood.

Sam's face lit up a in a small, amused smile. He rolled his eyes, saying something along the lines of, "Right. I'll see you," before going back to his laptop. 

Gabriel sighed, walking down the short path toward his room, clicking the door shut before crawling into bed. He curled up in that same soft blanket, wanting to force himself to get some rest before they were to go into that other dimension. 

He let his eyes flutter shut, one hand gripping the blanket tight even as he fell asleep as if to ground him. His breathing grew heavier as he drifted from reality to his dreamworld, chest falling in more even patterns.

The first thing Gabriel noticed about the dream was that he felt pain. His head, his shoulders, his back, his mouth. Oh Father, his mouth hurt. The clothes he wore on his back weren't of those that he'd had on the last he was in this place. Rather than the tattered old rags Asmodeus had forced him into, he wore the comfortable grey sweat pants and plain white shirt he'd went to bed in.

Gabriel looked around, wincing when he saw the golden blade, the only thing in creation that could kill him, placed deliberately in his field of vision. He felt defeated, his shoulders slumped over pathetically. He whined against the wires pulling his mouth shut, cringing in on himself when a harsh voice called for his silence.

He heard the severe creaking of the metal doors of his, for the lack of a better word, cage as they were pulled open. Gabriel refused to look whomever was there to torture him in the eye. He hugged his knees close to his chest, his head down.

He froze when he heard a familiar voice speaking to him. "Gabriel."

Sam? Gabe would recognize that voice anywhere, but he'd never had Sam in any dream about his time in Asmodeus' cage. Other types of dreams, sure, but that's besides the point.

Gabriel made a motion to open his mouth, regretting it immediately, as the wires tightened up from the pull on them. Tears pricked his eyes from the sharp pain.

There was something about the way Sam was standing that made Gabriel uneasy. And then Gabriel remembered. When he'd first been captured by Asmodeus, he'd still been cocky. Asmodeus would strike him, he'd spit in the demon's face. He'd be mocked, Gabriel would mock right back. The archangel told himself that he wouldn't allow himself to be broken. And for the longest time, it worked.

Then the prince of Hell came up with a new, special kind of torture. It started with people that Gabriel didn't know that well, primarily those that he'd either had killed or damaged in some way. As if seeing his past "mistakes" would make him hurt.

Asmodeus decided to crank up his game real quick after that. Seeing his younger siblings, Castiel, Anna, Balthazar...all of them sent to hurt him, to kick and punch at him whilst spitting out words of hatred toward him. Sure, he hadn't had the best relationship with many of his siblings, but he still loved them. They were his family, after all.

It grew worse from there. His older brothers, Raphael, Michael, Lucifer, hating him. He'd never had a close relationship with Michael or Lucifer, but just as he loved the others, he loved them. He had a slightly closer bond with Raph, or at least he felt like it. He found Raphael to be calm, good-natured, or at least much better-natured than either Michael or Lucifer. Gabriel had distant memories of his younger self badgering Raphael as he read. Raph would be annoyed at first, but he'd give in and they'd end up talking about the earth and its wonders. Gabriel had always liked Earth...

Perhaps that was why Raph's words stung the most. "You'll never be enough." "You'll always be the weakest." "The annoying brat of an archangel." Maybe that was when Gabriel started to really believe the words thrown at him.

And then Asmodeus had to use Sam against him. Sam, the intelligent, softer brother with legs for days and hair that smelled of sweet citrus fruit, (Gabriel had been proud that that specific smell was drilled into his memories.)

He'd stood as he was now, with a sneer that didn't fit his soft features, a hate-filled, dark light in his gorgeous hazel eyes. That Sam hadn't been the real one - Gabriel knew that, of course. His Sam would never say the things he did. He'd never say he hated Gabriel, or that he thought Gabe was useless. He'd never despise the nights they'd shared together....Never...Never...

Gabriel tried to shake the memories away, only to have them resurface as the illusion in front of him started to speak. All of the things Gabriel feared and beyond. It was as Loki said, Gabriel was a useless angel. This Sam...Sam was instilling that in his mind until he started to tremble. Gabriel couldn't focus. Was this a dream? Had being taken out of Hell been a dream? Was this his reality? To have to listen to Sam, a man he admired for his goodwill and gentle touch, spew hate toward him?

Gabriel whined more against the wires holding his lips together when he saw this Sam approaching him in his periphery. He winced, a large hand now on his shoulder. Gabriel was expecting it to be squeezed roughly or to be tossed aside like an empty Hershey's wrapper.

Rather, Gabriel felt himself being lightly shaken. He was confused. What was happenin-

Gabriel shot up in bed, eyes flitting around his room quickly. A sharp yelp escaped his lips when he saw Sam beside him, his hand on his shoulder. He hadn't escaped. It was real. Was this another illusion? Gabriel's head was pounding.

"Hey, hey, calm down. I think you had a nightmare, am I right?" Gabriel answered Sam's soft-spoken question with a nod. Sam then slowly sat on the bed beside him, "Do you...want to talk about it?"

Gabriel took in a couple of deeper breaths to calm himself down. He felt so utterly human; the emotions he felt making him vulnerable. He waited until his voice would come out even, then looked up at Sam, "It was just a nightmare, as you said. I'll be fine." He was lying through his teeth, but it wouldn't be the first time.

He could see in Sam's eyes that he wasn't buying it. He pressed, "If you need to talk about it...I mean, about anything really...You can talk to me, Gabe. You know that."

At Gabriel's silence, Sam sighed, beginning to make his leave. Gabriel caught his hand, "Wait."

Sam's head turned back to him, eyes soft, "Gabe?"

Gabriel's eyes couldn't seem to meet Sam's. He tugged at Sam's hand, causing the other to follow his lead, sitting down in front of Gabriel. The angel kept his hands on Sam's, his thumb tracing patterns on the tall man's palm. 

"Gabriel..."

"Shut up, Samshine," Gabriel sighed, "I don't need your pity."

Sam's mouth opened as if he were to say something, but words didn't come out. Instead, he allowed Gabriel to keep holding onto his hand, not moving or breaking the comfortable silence until Gabriel moved forward in a swift motion to bury his face in Sam's shirt, one arm thrown around Sam's shoulder, the other in between them so that he could continue gripping Sam's hand.

With his free hand, Sam brought his fingers up to run through Gabriel's hair. Sam tried again, "Would you... Gabriel, I'm not going to pressure you to do anything, but I think it'd be good to talk about this."

Gabriel was resting comfortably against the fabric of Sam's shirt. The rise and fall of Sam's chest reminded him to breathe. He gave Sam's calloused hand a light squeeze before saying, muffled, "You talk too much sometimes."

Gabriel could almost visualize how Sam's lips would've pursed at that joke. Gabriel tugged at the collar of Sam's shirt, pulling him downward to lay beside him. He buried his face in the crook of Sam's neck, feeling oddly comfortable in the hold of the other. Sam's hand that had previously been in his hair slipped down to wrap around his waist. 

Gabriel sighed, closing his eyes again, feeling less afraid of what dreams his subconscious might subject him to. "Sam?"

"Yeah, Gabe?"

Gabriel didn't feel the need to have to swallow his pride when he said, "Thank you." 

Sam simply pulled him closer, "Anytime, Gabriel." 

Anytime.


End file.
